By: Vanessa Rivas
As I was watched this movie the other night, it occurred to me that life does move pretty fast. As you get older you don’t feel the same way you would when you are 21. You worry about different things that you do know then you did then.
Never did I ever think about my best friend getting breast cancer.
I recently lost my best friend six months ago last week. It still hurts like it was yesterday. I can still feel my heart racing, face getting red, and a big knot in my throat. She was the sweetest, most amazing, strong person I have ever met. I could literally go on and on about how good of a person she was.
She always reminded me about how its never good to be the same; always be different, unique. She taught me so many life lessons that at the time, you don’t really think is a big deal. She was more than just a best friend; she was my sister from another mister. 😀
I was never scared to be myself around her. She taught me how to be confident in myself when I was at my worst. She was my soulmate. The day I found out she had cancer my world just stopped. I was in shock. I couldn’t breathe. I rapidly told her that I was going to be there for her. I told her that she was the strongest person I knew and she would fight this and win it.
After four long months of chemo she gave me good news: She was in remission. I was so happy. I knew she was going to conquer it. I felt confident that life was going to go back to the way it was. She was still so weak though. I will never forget a conversation we had while we were walking in her neighborhood. She told me something didn’t feel right and that she was in pain. She told me how much she loved me and thanked me for always being there. I told her how much I love her and that I would always be there. We reminisced on the past and had a Twilight movie marathon. She sent me a message the following week telling me that they needed to run a biopsy on her liver.
Something came back abnormal.
If you knew Rachel when she really started to think, she would shut down. She didn’t want to talk and she needed her time. Once she got the results, it was a bad day. Getting text messages at 1:00 a.m., saying “I don’t want to die,” broke me. The only thing I could do was be positive and hopeful in front of her. Rachel was my person to go to when life was confusing, tough, hard, happy, or good. (Tearing up now so I guess I will stop there).
CrossFit was my medicine.
My doctor prescribed me depression/anxiety medicine which made me numb and I had really awful mood swings. I didn’t want to go to that place again. I felt so angry and dead inside. CrossFit released all of that frustration and anger.
The help that coaches have given me, whether it be with the daily workout or extra personal programming, always pushes me to give it my all. I have never been one to talk about my emotions, but the people at this gym are amazing.
Being a part of Max You has definitely touched my heart in just helping me become stronger and healthier as a person, and an athlete.